How to Give and Receive Constructive Feedback

How you receive feedback is a key indicator of your self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-leadership. How you give feedback is an indicator of the same.

Leadership is a contact sport. Relationships are the hub of leadership, which means communicating and listening to feedback are key components to leading effectively. Here’s a formula to remember: Feedback without Relationship leads to Rebellion.

The key to effective feedback is relationship. It’s relationship that acts as the lubrication for giving and receiving feedback. Here’s a motto to remember: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

If your feedback to your team is not having the desired impact, consider:

  1. How are my relationships with those people? How am I building the relationships?
  2. Am I consistently giving positive feedback all along the way? If all I do is point out what is not good, then the impact of feedback is going to fall short.

Notice what both of those questions focus on? You as the leader. Leadership starts with YOU, not the other person.

By the way, here’s a thought about setting the table for feedback. When heading up a team for a recent project, I sent this:

  1. I know I do not know everything, which is why I’ve chosen you to be part of this team.
  2. There are no toes to step on. There is no ego to feed.
  3. My first response to your thoughts, insights, and questions will be, “Thank you.”
  4. When you see holes, pitfalls, danger signs, or any other potential for negative impact on the clients, speak up. Let’s own this together.
  5. I will take full responsibility if something does not go well.

What do you do to set the table for good feedback?
Write to Jeff at

Jeffery A. Raker
Level Up Leadership Coaching
Level Up Sports Leadership
Certified Sherpa Coach
Skype: jeff.raker64